It’s hard not to choose all of your friends as people to be included in your wedding party. And while that might be the right choice for some, I’m going to walk you through what it is like to have a small wedding party, the benefits, and potential drawbacks.
If you aren’t sure if a small wedding party is right for you, this guide will help guide your decision.
Why Have a Small Wedding Party?
A common assumption I’ve seen about weddings is that having a large wedding party will make your day more fun or meaningful. However, after seeing many weddings and the dynamics of what happens on a wedding day, I’ve learned that bigger parties don’t always mean fun and more might be more of what you don’t want – stress.
When you think about it, it’s a simple equation – more people = more logistics, more moving parts, and more potential for things to get off track. Whereas fewer people often equals more peace, more presence, and more time to focus on connection.
For whoever you’re including in your wedding party, I believe that they should be there because they truly matter to you, not just because you feel you should have a big wedding party.
Pluses of Having a Small Wedding Party
Reduced wedding costs
With a smaller wedding party, you can budget less for many items, including bouquets, boutonnieres, hair/makeup services, gifts, transportation, etc., because you will have fewer people.
Simpler timeline
With a small wedding party, you’ll need to schedule less time for getting ready (all of those hair and makeup appointments take some time!) and more likely that everyone can be together instead of having to handle things in shifts. You’ll also have fewer people to keep track of, so things are more likely to stay on schedule. Large wedding parties often require you to add more time for getting to places. Remember last time you went to dinner with 1 person versus 10 people? Wasn’t it substantially more difficult to get everyone into the car and on their way? That’s exactly what happens on a wedding day!
Easier communication with reduced conflicts
Think about that group text you share with your coworkers, friends, etc. The larger the group chat, the more opinions that come up. Sometimes those opinions can rub some the wrong way. When you have a larger group, you are more likely to have those situations arise, and if you are hoping for a stress-free (or at least reduced) experience, narrowing the size of your wedding party can keep communication easy and opinions more easily managed when decisions are being made.
Easier wardrobe decisions
With fewer people, you can allow your wedding party to infuse a little bit more of their style into the wedding, with less focus on a large group looking cohesive. From a photography perspective, variation in wedding party clothing allows your important people to capture not just how similar they look to everyone, but allows their uniqueness to shine through (and bonus for you – fewer decisions to make along the way)!
But What if I Don’t Want People to Feel Left Out by Not Including Them in My Wedding Party?
There are a lot of ways you can show these important people in your life that you are thankful for their support of your marriage without causing them to spend additional money to be a part of your wedding. Here are a few ways:
Get ready with them
They can still hang out with you as you get ready, except they won’t need to worry about being ready for a time other than your wedding. They can partake in activities with you – think morning run, yoga, golf outing, breakfast in bed, spa visit, etc. – but the actual part of getting ready (hair, make-up, dressing, etc.) can be done without having to start so early!
Plan a special meal before your wedding
A special meal the day before your wedding is another way to bring your nearest and dearest together and show them how special they are to you in a way that’s intimate and personal.
Include them in your ceremony
There are many places to include your favorite people in your ceremony without having them be in a procession. Consider seating them in the front rows, having them do a reading, officiating your wedding, singing or playing a song, holding your flowers or rings – the ideas are endless. Including them in your ceremony allows them to feel a part of the day, without having to commit to all the wedding activities in a traditional wedding party.
Ask them to give a toast at your rehearsal dinner or reception
This is another meaningful way to acknowledge the special people in your life who aren’t in your wedding party, and also allow them to showcase their personality in a way that is comfortable for them.
Do I Even Need to Have a Wedding Party?
That choice is completely up to you. It is nice to have people with you before you walk down the aisle, but for couples who see each other before the wedding, you might just want to spend that time with your soon-to-be spouse.
If you still worry about leaving someone out, having just the two of you removes that worry, but still including them in the day, whether it is getting ready, during the ceremony, or a special toast at the reception, you will likely be surprised by the appreciation of your friends and family to spend more time enjoying your wedding than having to prepare for it.
After reading all this, you have a group of friends that are thick as thieves, and you want all of them to be by your side through all the moments of planning a wedding – then by all means do it! This guide is here to remind you that there is no right way to celebrate your wedding, and whether you have a small, no, or big wedding party, aligning with your values as a couple is the most important aspect of planning your wedding day.
Ready To Hire Your Wedding Photographer?
I hope you found this info on small wedding parties helpful. I’m passionate about giving couples the information to choose what option works best for them.
And… if you’re still looking for a Washington DC/Virginia wedding photographer, I’d love to connect! My approach to wedding photography starts with understanding what—and who—matters the most to the two of you.
When you hire me to photograph your wedding, we’ll sit down to figure out what photos are must-haves and how you want your day to feel. Your images will capture your day in its entirety: the spontaneous joy, the precious family photos, the experience you created for your guests.
You can learn more about my wedding photography services here or get in touch with me here!
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